I was born into a large family: nine women and two men.

A humble family, with a lot of motherly love.

I grew up, I saw, I realized.

I was different, it was not the same.

My sisters, feminine, gentle.

Me, sturdy, awkward, out of the common.

While they played dolls and little houses,

I was an infernal boy.

 

The time passed and I just analysing.

I studied, I played, I dated, everything seemed normal.

Suddenly I realized that I was different.

That life was not for me,

That was not what I grew up for.

 

Unhappy, agonized, out of the way.

Hard to accept, but I was not normal.

I began thinking.

Closing myself off, more and more. 

It is impossible to believe.

Amongst eight sisters

I perceive myself unequal.

 

Even today I suffer, dream, analyse.

And still, have not found the answer.

I only wanted from the bottom of my heart

To have been born, grown, lived and loved

As a normal woman.

 

Longings, desires, encounters, and disagreements,

An unattainable dream.

No matter how much time passes,

I see, I read, I learn,

But still, I do not accept myself

As a normal person.

 

And this is the question I ask myself,

"Why was I born wrong?"

As hard as I try,

I cannot be what I am

Out of the closet.

 

Report written by the teacher Ione Sereia.

Estrela do Oeste Rural State School – Santa Maria do Oeste – Paraná.

Seminar: November 24-26, 2016.

© Landless Voices II